An open letter to Blockbuster
Dear Blockbuster,
You guys are the most unoriginal, ass-hole of a company I have ever shopped at. I understand that Blockbuster is a business and the need to make money, but there is no need to back-stab all of your customers.
I have an idea! Next time you are going to change your late fee policy, don't use the fine print to tell me that you will charge me $20 for a DVD and $50 for a video game if I am a few days late with it. Why not tell me straight up? Oh, I know why ... because you are a bunch of assholes. You wont just ass-rape your customers straight up, you have to sneak into their house late at night and cock-ram them while they are sleeping.
Also, stop ripping off Net Flix. Let them have their business. You can stick with your business of selling over priced new and used DVDs. And if that doesn't work for you, you can just over charge more for the bags of popcorn you have near the register.
Oh, and I have just one more request: don't stock When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, and You've Got Mail anymore. Those movies suck.
Not so sincerely,
Jeremiah
P.S. I actually did send this to blockbuster. I'll keep you updated if they email me back.
Updates
March 22, 2005:
To all the pissed off Blockbuster employees that keep e-mailing me. This is not an attack against you. I know you are just doing your jobs. But please, stop sending me whiney e-mails about how I'm wasting my time... because you are probably wasting more time by writing me. If you are still pissed off at me for some reason, get the sand out of your vagina and move on with your life.