Summer do not read list

 

    It's summer time and all the newspapers publish their bullshit "summer reading lists," and if your one of those unlucky bastards who actually has a reading list for the fall semester of school, then you know how much they suck.  Well, I've composed a list of books you should not read.  Even if it is on your list, skip it.

 

1.  Harry Potter is possibly the stupidest book franchise that has ever been written, and the author, JK Rowlings, looks like she is a crack addict. Do yourself a favor and use the pages as toilet paper.

2. US Magazine. I know it's not a book, but I seriously hate all the people that read that stupid magazine. "OMG Lindsay Lohan lost so much weight!"  Who the fuck cares?  Not me.  I don't want to know who Tom Cruise is going out with, or how much of a whore Brittany Spears is and neither should you.

3. Chicken Soup for the [insert why you are depressed here] Soul. This book is stupid. I'll write a good self-help book for you: 

Chapter 1 - Get over it, you worthless whore

Chapter 2 - Taking care of it like a man

Chapter 3 - You can't be depressed when you're dead

Chapter 4 - If you hadn't gotten the hint by now, you should kill yourself

 

4. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants has been made into a movie and I know the three girls that read this website are going to want to pick it up.  This book is just about a bunch of stupid girls who share a magic pair of pants which allow them to get guys or something like that... honestly, I haven't read it, but my advice is to give this book back to your 10-year-old sister and stop reading stupid pre-teen literature.

5. The instruction manual for your ikea desk.  Seriously, if you can't figure how to put that shit together on your own, don't even try. You are already brain damaged.

In conclusion, don't read this summer. Go watch Star Wars or sit on your ass and play video games. Books suck. The one book I do recommend is Fahrenheit 451 because it is about burning books... those guys know how much reading sucks

 

BACK

StatCounter - Free Web Tracker and Counter

Comments? jeremiah@yourapathy.net

© 2004-2005 by Jeremiah