I wish people were more honest

All girls masturbate. It is a fact of life. Often you will hear girls say "EWWWW! I don't do that! That is sick!" They are lying pieces of shit. In reality, the ones who don't admit it are probably the sluttiest of them all. Seriously, I want every girl that reads this page to email telling me if they believe this is true or not. I want to compile a list to show every girl I meet that refuses to admit she masturbates (click here for the list).

A lot of people piss in the shower. Sometimes you just have to go and you all know that the running water doesn't help the situation. I mean, it does have a floor drain.

Nobody cares about reality TV. I am sick of all these reality TV stars getting so much god damn coverage. They are just normal people that sucked abnormal amounts of executive dick in order to appear on television. Not that is much different than most regular Hollywood stars, but at least they can pretend to know how to act.

Paris Hilton looks like she got hit by a truck. Why the fuck to so many people think she is hot? I just don't understand. I mean, look at her. It's as if she got badly mauled by a cougar as a young child and plastic surgery couldn't remove all the deformities - even with the billions of dollars the Hilton's have.

The Holocaust never happened. Just kidding.

When I take a shit and run out of toilet paper, I don't replace it. But when the next person that uses the bathroom screams "WHO THE FUCK DIDN'T REFILL THE TOILET PAPER!" I just say that it wasn't me and then laugh when they have to hop out of the bathroom with their pants around their ankles.

I fucked your mom last night. Just thought I'd get that out in the open. It's too bad "your mom" jokes aren't funny anymore.

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Comments? jeremiah@yourapathy.net

I wouldn't fuck Paris Hilton with a 20 foot pole. Mostly because I don't have one.