Avril Lavigne and Ashlee Spimpson are the Same Person

Seriously, they are. When Avril came out 2 or 3 years ago, there was a huge backlash within the shitty "punk" community that Avril was a "poser" even though they all loved Sum 41 and lame ass bands like that. I don't want to say Avril was (or still is) a poser, because that word is more retarded than the people that say it. Instead, I'd like to call her a whore.

Back in the day, Avril was a country singer... and not a very good one at that. I'm not a country lover or anything (because I'm not a hick), but I can tell when something makes my ears bleed.

You may ask, "if she wasn't that good, why is she so popular?" Well, here is what I think happened: after a while of being a shitty country singer, some big fat record exec saw her and thought she was hot. He gave her a record deal in exchange for some head and probably some other stuff that nasty old execs do. Now, after this exec blew his load, he realized what a poor decision he had made in signing her. He then tried to recoup his loses by telling her to sing punk music instead of her redneck country music so that he could boost her record sales. She said "OK," because she's a whore and they all made lots of money. The end.

Now, a few years later, another record company decided to do the same thing. So, they took an already famously-retarded singer, and got her sister (who is also retarded) to sign a contract. Now, all the little 12 year old bitches who liked Avril, like Ashlee Simpson (except they are now 15 year old bitches).

I don't know about everybody else, but I am sick of the whores in the music industry. If you agree with me, then you should boycott Ashlee Simpson and tell all your friends that like her to go shoot themselves in the genitals so they can't reproduce. This way, we will filter the next generation from people who like retarded whore singers and there will be no more.

UPDATE!!! (Oct. 24, 2004)

I was browsing the site stats for this page when I came across this: http://www.collegehumor.com/news/ashlee_snl.wmv

In case you are too lazy to watch it, you have a slow connection, or are too cheap to buy a fast computer, I'll explain the video:

Basically, it's Ashlee Simpson performing on Saturday Night Live. She is all awesome and happily dancing in the beginning, but something goes wrong. The track of her voice starts playing early! Proving that she (not only sucks, but also) lip syncs her music. After that she kind of walks off the stage in shame as her band continues to play.

Don't worry though, the word on the street is that she is putting together a new band:

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